hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
