Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
