I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
