I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
