quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
