He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
