nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
