You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
