I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
