school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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