Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The beer is more important than you right now.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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