we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My life is pants optional.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
