TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
