I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
