He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
