You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Where did you get a picture of my penis
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
