is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
