If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
