haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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