also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Randomize
