and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My life is pants optional.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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