thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
