Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
