Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
