We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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