my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
