Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
