She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
