Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
