You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
