I didn't shave. On purpose
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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