they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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