I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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