He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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