Someone shit on the floor
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
