You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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