I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
