chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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