He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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