Welp...herpes.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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