Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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