Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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