Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
