Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm at about main and main street
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
