I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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