Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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