My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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