bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
