I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
