can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
