Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I supernannyed him into submission
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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